Little Shelby and My Mother Who Loved Her

My mother called this morning to wish me a happy birthday. She called before she had to go into work. Mom is 73 nearly 74 years old and still works full time. She cleans a high school in Idaho Falls. My sister, cousin and I have all said we couldn't do the work she does--and we have no clue how she has the stamina to do it. Every day during the week, she cleans two of the biggest bathrooms I have ever seen until they are spotless. She cleans the entire school office, a bunch of classrooms, hallways, dumps trash. The trash dumping during the Idaho winters always has me a little concerned. There is snow, ice, pelting sleet, and gusts of wind....and a little 100 pound woman taking a bazillion bags of trash out to the dumpster. Lets just say I always pray she is safe, and doesn't slip and fall, as there would be no one to rescue her. On the weekends, she also works the dances, debate meets, sporting activities-- I will repeat: I do not know how she does what she does. She was telling me about working after a dance this past weekend. She got home at 3 am, and said she was really tired for 2 days. No kidding! The guy she was working with grabbed a dust mop and let her haul all of the tables to where they need to be put away. What is wrong with this picture? Mom has such a strong work ethic, that she wants to make certain she does her share. She works with people willing to get by...and they take advantage of her.

For years while I was small, my mother worked nights at Idaho Potato Growers. They processed potatoes. It was hard, cold work. I don't remember my mother ever complaining, though. I remember in the 70's there came this cultural phenomena if you will--a superwoman, that could work, have a family, entertain, clean the house: basically do it all. I remember looking at the fronts of magazines while waiting in line at the grocery store and wondering what all the hype was about--my mother WAS the original superwoman. I remember in the 80's or maybe 90's the 'they', whoever 'they' were, said the superwoman was a myth and you really couldn't have it all. My mom must not have read those articles, as she just continued doing what she was doing--loving her family and working very hard.

The president or CEO of Idaho Potato Growers embezzled funds intended for the worker's retirement fund. Consequently, Idaho Potato Growers went under, so my mother started working at a bakery inside of an Albertson's supermarket. Because of the embezzler, she didn't have any retirement money after all those years at Idaho Potato Growers, either. (Sound familiar with the Enron people?) I can't remember how many years my mother worked at Albertson's in their bakery, but she retired from that company in September of 1996 to take care of my ailing father. He died October 5th, and we buried him on his 62nd birthday--October 9th. After my dad died, my mother mentioned that she would like to get a little miniature pincher--min pin dog. I told her not to buy one; let me see if I could get one from Pet Finders, an organization down here, that took in small dogs no one wanted and found them new homes. I called the organization and told them my widowed mom would like a min pin if one became available. I told her the sex, age, etc did not matter. Then I forgot that I had called. After spending Thanksgiving in Idaho, my mother agreed to come down to Arizona for a bit. Maybe a week or so before she was going to head back home, this lady from Pet Finders called to say she had a little min pin that would be perfect for a little widowed lady. She said the dog had not been socialized, was afraid of people, wouldn't make a good dog for a kid, etc. It was one of those things that made me realize there really aren't that many coincidences in life--and Shelby was like a gift from dad, or a little companion for mom so she wasn't so lonesome. Mom did have a little teacup poodle, Suzie, but she was quite elderly. Shelby was really happy to see little Suzie as she had spent a lot of time with min pins, but not any humans. I think Suzie died either that same winter or the next. Shortly after arriving back in Idaho Falls, my mother went back to work full time cleaning schools in the area for the different school districts. One day she came home, and there was little Suzie lying close to the front door. Shelby wasn't the same after that. She became quite reclusive--spent the majority of her time under my mother's bed. She was very selective in the human people that she let close to her. She didn't like me. For some reason, she really liked my daughter Jennifer and cousin Annette.

While talking to me this morning, mom said that Shelby had died sometime this past month. My mom buried her on her property. She didn't have anyone help her, and knowing my mom, that had to be really hard. Mom is just so independent--any of the kids would have helped her. Mom also mentioned that with budget cuts, the school district might do away with the part time custodians. Mom said if they do that, there is no way she can take on more work. Her goal has been to work two more years, and have two full retirements. Her job has been good for her during the long Idaho winters, but she loves her yard and garden in the summer and spends every waking hour planting and taking care of her flowers. My orders during the summer are to call after dark, as she doesn't like to miss my calls. Mom knows she is welcome to spend the winters here with our family. My cousin Annette is like another daughter to my mom since my Aunt Jimmer died. She wants my mom to spend time with her, too. I'd like my younger kids and grandkids to know my mother, and be able to see how special she is. I just don't want to have to go to Idaho to bury someone that died taking out the trash behind a school!

I told mom maybe Shelby's passing is to let her know that one chapter in her own life is coming to a close, and even if she wants to work two more years, it is time to be thinking of retiring from cleaning schools, and enjoying life with those she loves, or letting those she loves spend time with her.

Another post about dogs.....I had resolved not to write any more of them. This blog is really for my kids. I just want them to know I had a mother that sacrificed all for me and my sister and brothers. She didn't work to put a boat in the yard, she worked HARD to put food on our table and clothes on our backs. She did it SO well that I did not know we were poor. I didn't feel poor. She provided all of our needs. She was the mother hen to us with those wings spread out protecting us from ANYTHING that would hurt us. I always knew she would give anything for us, because she nearly did. Because of her, I also can understand the Savior's love for me and each one of you. What a mother I have. After I had kids, I asked my mother how she knew to be such a great mom. She never took any parenting classes, and certainly did not have any free time to read up on the subject. Here is her tip: She said she always thought of the age of the child and then how she would like to be treated and went from there. So there you have it. Go out and parent a kid! It works for grandkids, too.

Ok, so now it is a post about mothers. I guess I am ahead of the game. Mother's Day isn't for a couple weeks yet. I'm going to spend some serious time contemplating my mother and what she has meant to me. I am also very thankful to be a mother. I can't remember when I DIDN'T want to be a mother. It is the BEST job in the world!