Compassion

I hit the wall so to speak Thursday night.

I have been trying to help and visit a dear friend of mine that has cancer. She has been very independent, and hasn't liked to have to depend on anyone but herself. For 8 months or longer, she has been in and out of the hospital and suffered all kinds of complications--too numerous to mention. I told her awhile back to call me if she needed me. She didn't call. The last time she was hospitalized, I visited her nearly every day. She told me not to come--that I was too busy to spend time with her. I told her I had her penciled in, and I was coming! I took one of my daughters with me to visit her one day. We all enjoyed our time together. For now, she is home....and I have taken a smoothie or sandwich to her. Yesterday, she actually let me take her to her chemo appt. She is weak--very weak. Sometimes I have to fight back tears when I look at her. I feel so protective of her, and know that is how her family and other friends feel, too. She has the brightest eyes and sweet smile. I hug her gently as she seems so frail that if I hug her too tightly, I might break her or hurt her in some way. I find myself kissing her little nearly bald head. Sometimes I just rub her little head very gently. She looks at me and smiles and asks, "Sandy, are you rubbing my head again?" She smiles and tells me about her doctor that rubs her head. She said he told her he only rubs the heads of the patients he really likes. When she told me that,I knew her doctor really cared about her, just as I do. I need to touch her and think she needs to be touched and loved.

I love Mr Wonderful. If I had a nearly bald head, he would rub it for me and let me know he loved me. As it is, he hugged me tightly Thursday night. He knows me. He even offered to go get Breezy. She was at a friend's dance performance. For a brief moment, I considered having him pick her up. She was at another high school, and I also needed to drop one of her friend's off. Mr Wonderful had to be up for work at 4:30 am. He would have sacrificed sleep time to help me....I went to get her. The performance started 40 minutes late, AND got out forty minutes late. I finally got home, said a short prayer and fell into bed. I sorted through my jumbled up thoughts, thinking about my day. I felt peace--the Savior's peace he give us. As I drifted off to sleep, I was comforted to know that he is very aware of my friend, and my love for her. He would rub a nearly bald head....and lean down and kiss it. I know he would.